Happy Birthday Mckinley!

The day has come....today is Mckinley's first birthday! Exactly one year ago today she entered the world and forever changed the lives of everyone she knows. I cannot even begin to describe the range of emotions that I have had this past year. From overwhelming joy at the life we had created, to being scared about what the days would hold, to unspeakable pride at the child she has become. I know every parent boasts of the pride they have for their child (as it should be too), but I do not think one can truly understand this until they experience these emotions for themselves.

She is the reason for every decision I make in life. Little did I know how deeply she would change my world. As a soon to be parent, of course you think you know. You think that you understand the ways in which you will grow as a human, develop as a parent, or learn to love a new life (a stranger in the beginning). But after the experience actually happens you realize you had no idea. It is much more powerful than you could have ever thought.

Do not get me wrong, every day is not easy or life changing. Some days are hard, some weeks are hard. Many days are uneventful. However, there are so many more wonderful moments than difficult ones. Even one great moment out-weighs a year's worth of hard ones.

I talked before of how this upcoming day was bittersweet for me. This emotion is still true. I am saddened that my baby is becoming each day less and less a baby. I am reminiscent of the days she was a tiny infant. But I am excited about the person she is becoming. Each day she learns more and creates new memories for me to cherish. As I said before, I think that it will just have to be a bittersweet time for me.

So now as I am reflecting back on this year, I happily remember all moments. Good and bad. Hard and easy. Funny and sweet. Shocking and memorable. I feel like the luckiest person on earth. She is my daughter. Part of me and part of her dad. She is sweet, caring, smart, funny, beautiful. Mckinley is amazing. Simply put, nothing short of, amazing.

She's a Stubborn Little One -- Writer's Workshop Take 1

As my blog writing has become somewhat therapeutic for me, I have decided to begin participating in a Writer's Workshop. Writer's Workshop is a fun event put on by a fellow blogger, Mama Kat, from Mama's Losin' It! and you can read about the event here if you are interested. Also, I was introduced to this great idea by a friend, who is also a mommy blogger (among many other things as well!). If you want, you can read about her life and the great insights she has at lucielle in the sky (she also has an AMAZINGLY cute family that she sweetly posts lots of pics of!). Thanks for the great idea Lucy!

Anyways, back to the Writer's Workshop. While there are several prompts to choose from each week, I am going to try and choose ones that relate to family as that is after all the theme of my blog. However, I cannot promise to always stick to that plan! :)

So this week I choose prompt #3 What does your child do that reminds you most of yourself? How does it make you feel?

Mckinley is REALLY strong-headed, and unfortunately this describes me completely. A nice combination of being stubborn and opinionated. It seems kind of weird to think that a one year old can be strong-headed, but I promise you it is true. Maybe this is common for toddlers, I assume that she is probably not the only little one that acts this way, or maybe I have this trait down so well that she couldn't quite possibly escape it.

Both of my parents would tell you that I have always been this way. While this obviously is not the best characteristic to have shine through, it is part of me nonetheless. I have always liked to think that my opinions are just that, opinions, and being stubborn is just standing up for myself. Right? Well not so much. It is actually really annoying! Ha, I know. Now I get it. Now that I have a little one, and see how difficult it is to manage, I realize this.

In all honesty I have always realized it is a personality trait that is difficult to deal with, and as such, I have tried to reign it in. Seeing that Mckinley is already exhibiting this trait makes me feel SCARED! If she is this way at one years old, what will she be like at 15? Even though I am little uneasy about her already having strong opinions, I also know that she is sweet as can be, loving, intelligent, and observant. These other traits will weigh heavily on her personality and will most definitely create a balance to that stubbornness. For now I will just laugh at her protests for standing in the tub, wanting food immediately as she is placed in her highchair, or HATING having her diaper changed!


What are some ways that you deal with your little ones stubborn tendencies? Do you wait it out, deal with it, or ignore it?

First Steps!!

One week ago Mckinley had a HUGE milestone, she took her first steps! As with most new parents, Kevin and I are typically over-anxious for Mckinely to do new things (or tricks as I lovingly call them!). We attempt to be patient, but I have found myself at many times questioning if she is ever going to do the next big thing (i.e. sit up, crawl, feed  herself, etc.). I honestly so many times have flat out said "She is never going to do it!". However, to my frequent surprise, she always does! :) Her first steps did not come as big of a surprise though. Maybe it is because she has proven me wrong so many times before, or maybe it is because I have grown to think she is Super Baby, capable of all tasks.

Kinley has been able to stand on her own for quite a while now, but only for 10 seconds or so. Just long enough for her to scan the room for an item of desire and then fall to the ground to crawl and retrieve it. For the last couple of weeks Kevin and I would prop her in a stand and ask her to walk to us...not really expecting much though. Then last Tuesday however, she gave in to our requests and took two steps. What? Where did that come from? I mean, as I said, I knew she had it in her, but I just didn't expect it that evening. Probably because I'm not really ready for her to grow up, as noted here. But ready or not, she has begun to walk. Next she will be running away from me...her sappy mom, teary-eyed, begging her to stay a little girl.

I can however see a new beauty in her as she stands tall, proud of her accomplishment. She is wobbly and still only takes a few steps, but it is an amazing few steps to watch. Every day she is more and more becoming a little lady...I guess I can force myself to see the excitement in that though!

Beaches and Boo Boos

This weekend we spent a fantastic time with the family on the Oregon Coast where Kevin's parents live. We ate great food, played with cousins, and loved on Grandma and Grandpa. We also had a couple of trips to the beach. Mckinley has been to the beach only twice before. The first time she was only 6 weeks old so she obviously didn't do a whole lot. The second time was over Memorial Day weekend, but only for a brief walk and she didn't even get out of the backpack. So this weekend we were really excited to let her PLAY in the sand! Unfortunately, the beach gods were against us as we had two pretty poor trips to the beach.

For our first trip, the scene was set...one happy baby, beach toys, a BEAUTIFUL sunny morning, and a couple hours before nap time.

Before we set into our playtime we decided to go look around some tide pools, as it was an extremely low tide. Mckinley was in her backpack loving life and trusting in mom to be careful on all those slippery rocks. Well I'm sure you can guess what happened next...one miss step and Mckinley and I are on the ground both crying. I ended up slipping on one of those tricky rocks and in a split second I'm on my butt with Mckinley still on my back. Of course I scream in fear that she has been hurt by this little mishap and yell at any family around me to get her out of the pack. After a good amount of crying (by both mom and babe) we determine that all in life is ok besides one badly bruised baby foot and one badly bruised mama butt! (I apparently must have sat on her foot in our fall---ouch, I know!) So our first trip of the day ends in Mckinley's first real boo boo. Needless to say it did not really end how we had hoped.

We were not deterred though! After determining we were all ok and getting some food and a nap we decide to head to the beach again. This time we would not be venturing out onto the rocks however, we instead would be playing in the sand. But yet again the trip did not exactly go as planned. The wind was SO strong! We tried many times to find a place sheltered from the wind for the girls (cousin in tow this time) to play in the sand, but this shelter was nowhere to be found. So we said "ok we will just make do with the wind". After only two minutes though Mckinley's little face was covered in sand! In her eyes, up her nose, in her ears, covering every inch of her face. The same was true for her cousin! So grandma and I made a b-line for the car, trying not to lose anything to the wind along the way.

So while the trips to the beach were not really what we were planning, they were still memorable. Our first trip horrible, our second almost humorous. We are however, looking forward to our next trip!


Here is what we looked like later in the day...enjoying the sun and happy, even though she isn't showing it in this picture!

Bittersweet.

I'm having a sentimental kind of night. It seems that Mckinley is growing faster and faster each day. This is bittersweet to me. I'm so proud of this little girl, words cannot capture the feelings I have, and I am excited for what the future will bring. But I stand here today and she is less than one month away from being 1 YEARS OLD! While I am rationale enough to realize that she is still a baby by all accounts, it still seems like time is flying by. Too. Fast. And, I do not see it slowing down any time soon. 

1 years old is a huge milestone, not only for Mckinley but for myself and her dad as well. Even in the next couple years Mckinley will still be considered my "baby", but the baby stage truly is gone and has been for a while. It seemed to just happen out of the blue one day. All of the sudden she is a little person who comprehends most of what I say and can, in some ways, respond to my requests or questions. These are not baby qualities. She gains a new skill almost weekly. From standing strong on her own, to pointing to an item of desire, she is a little sponge absorbing, making sense of, and making her mark on the world around her.

I want this journaling of my thoughts and events to be as honest as possible though. I do not want to look back and re-read through these entries years down the road and say that life was always roses. Some days are hard. Mckinley already is showing the stubbornness that her mother carries. Juggling school and a busy baby, a husband who at times works horrendous hours, a crazy dog, the stresses of being an adult (i.e. finances, jobs, balance, homes, etc.) can all become overwhelming, but I honestly would not change one part of my life. This seems a bit cliche, but it is true. All the craziness of my life is MORE than worth it. Life is good. I have a beautiful, healthy little girl, who, yes, is growing up fast--too fast--but I get the joy of being present with a front row seat to take witness (with, by the way, an amazing husband to witness it with). So I guess I will just have to let life happen. Let my little girl grow up. Finish school, get a job, deal with the dog and the adult responsibilities.

If this past year has been any testament of what's to come then I think I'm ready. So I guess bittersweet isn't always so bad. It is ok to be reminiscent of the past and at the same time look forward to the future. I'm not promising that I will not shed a few tears as Mckinley reaches new milestones in her life...they will however be happy tears.