Bittersweet.

I'm having a sentimental kind of night. It seems that Mckinley is growing faster and faster each day. This is bittersweet to me. I'm so proud of this little girl, words cannot capture the feelings I have, and I am excited for what the future will bring. But I stand here today and she is less than one month away from being 1 YEARS OLD! While I am rationale enough to realize that she is still a baby by all accounts, it still seems like time is flying by. Too. Fast. And, I do not see it slowing down any time soon. 

1 years old is a huge milestone, not only for Mckinley but for myself and her dad as well. Even in the next couple years Mckinley will still be considered my "baby", but the baby stage truly is gone and has been for a while. It seemed to just happen out of the blue one day. All of the sudden she is a little person who comprehends most of what I say and can, in some ways, respond to my requests or questions. These are not baby qualities. She gains a new skill almost weekly. From standing strong on her own, to pointing to an item of desire, she is a little sponge absorbing, making sense of, and making her mark on the world around her.

I want this journaling of my thoughts and events to be as honest as possible though. I do not want to look back and re-read through these entries years down the road and say that life was always roses. Some days are hard. Mckinley already is showing the stubbornness that her mother carries. Juggling school and a busy baby, a husband who at times works horrendous hours, a crazy dog, the stresses of being an adult (i.e. finances, jobs, balance, homes, etc.) can all become overwhelming, but I honestly would not change one part of my life. This seems a bit cliche, but it is true. All the craziness of my life is MORE than worth it. Life is good. I have a beautiful, healthy little girl, who, yes, is growing up fast--too fast--but I get the joy of being present with a front row seat to take witness (with, by the way, an amazing husband to witness it with). So I guess I will just have to let life happen. Let my little girl grow up. Finish school, get a job, deal with the dog and the adult responsibilities.

If this past year has been any testament of what's to come then I think I'm ready. So I guess bittersweet isn't always so bad. It is ok to be reminiscent of the past and at the same time look forward to the future. I'm not promising that I will not shed a few tears as Mckinley reaches new milestones in her life...they will however be happy tears.